My Day TODAY!!! 12/12/2008

Today was not such a real good day. Everything started from the moment I woke up. I woke up at noon and when I moved myself to the refrigerator (by moving myself to the refrigerator I mean turning myself to the other side in my bed, I have a mini refrigerator installed directly next to my bed) I discovered that it was empty. So empty means NO alcohol. And that is not good. Because normally, if I should be in a sober state for more than 0.1 seconds I level up to a very high level of craziness. And that level of craziness is a bit to high on this moment to fully control (I even take a crap in the right corner of my room then and that’s normally only for pissing). So I knew I needed to be quick but when I thought that, those 0.1 seconds were over already… I stood up and ran outside, fully naked, to the road where the free cars are. Those roads are everywhere, so that makes it very easy. I saw one car slowing down so I just ran towards that car because it would be set free any moment and I would help the car setting free. I ran towards the door of the car and when the man came out of the car I crushed his skull against the roof of the car. Then I apologized to the car for damaging its color. It took my apology and when I got in I just put my foot down on the pedal. After circling in a donut for 12 minutes I realized it was a car with cruise control. So I put the cruise control off. I hated it that the owner of the car didn’t warn me about this because I was already at a very high level and it increases in time, and 12 minutes is a lot of time. So I took all my frustration and put it in a metal box called; His Car. I drove over the owner with the crushed skull and yelled that he could have warned me about the cruise control. He didn’t answer and I am always learned that when people don’t answer they simply agree. So I knew he agreed on me and I decided to not waste any more time and drive like a crazy fuck, like I actually am, to the mall. I pushed the pedal down and after driving for a few minutes I saw the mall. I saw the parking and I saw a nice spot. I just pushed the pedal all the way down and closed my eyes. I felt lucky. So after hearing a big bang I opened my eyes. I saw a wall in front of me and it was so dark. So I opened up the door of the car and stepped out. I actually fell down for 2 seconds before my foot touched the ground. I thought that was very strange so I turned myself to the car and took this picture. After that I bought a lot of alcohol and things were better, and then you say don’t drink and drive… You see what happens when you don’t drink while/before driving?

My Day TODAY!!!05/12/2008

Today was a very nice day. I woke up around noon & after I got out of my bed, approximately 5 hours later, I went to my refrigerator to get something to drink. I poured some light alcohol substance, also called Pure Vodka, in my mouth and I went back to my bedroom upstairs. When I arrived in that room I went to the right corner of it and I took my daily morning piss over there. When I looked out of my window, while pissing, I knew something good would happen this very day. The sky was blue and the grass was green so it surely would be a very unique day. Off course the UFO behind my neighbor’s house attracted some of my attention to, but that’s not why I knew it was going to be such a day full of joy & happiness. The sky was blue and the grass was green, and THAT’S why I knew it was going to be such a good day. You need to learn the signs of nature to know that, and I am one with the nature. When I take a shit on a seed from any plant, then there will grow a big plant out of that pile of shit. That proves that nature needs me to shit everywhere so that plants can grow. So I can say that I am one with nature yes, so when u think there isn’t anything abnormal about the sky being blue and grass being green then  you just aren’t one with nature Sir/Madam, I am truly sorry for that. Maybe you should stop shitting in people’s gardens because you aren’t one with nature and then it’s a crime to do such stuff. Just a little advice I want to give you, don’t get so mad now… Okay let’s continue my story now. After realizing what a great day it would be I dressed myself up and went outside. I took 16 steps from my house and started to feel hungry. I could go those 16 steps back and cook something in my house but man, 16 steps, that’s a long walk. So I started to think for a solution. Then all of a sudden I saw smoke coming out of my neighbor’s chimney so I knew he was cooking something. And his house was only 15 and a half step away from where I stood. That was already a lot closer then my house so I started to walk to his door. When I arrived at his door I saw it was open. So I just walked right in to the kitchen area. When I arrived there I saw some aliens around the table, ready to eat my neighbor. I immediately took this picture and asked if I could join them. They were all happy to see me; it’s been so long already dearest family since I have seen you.